Deva’s Life Story ~ and her many wild births and deaths
Please enjoy an overview of my life ~ and how I came face to face with a powerful force, sometimes called shakti, kundalini, or holy spirit.
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My unique life began in New England suburbia, where the world around me felt quietly alien. As a young child I saw fairies and started a small club in first grade to convince my girlfriends of their existence. During lunch hour I became the playground tour guide, showing other children where the fairies and elves lived among the flora outside.
At sixteen I found a theosophy book by Leadbeater in a dark musty boutique. For the first time I could put words to experiences I’d been having quietly for years.
By twenty-eight, unusual inner experiences were multiplying. Living in Marin County and finding conventional work difficult to sustain, I started a highly unconventional ~ and entirely non-sexual ~ Geisha girl service. It was surprisingly successful, though brief. A small inheritance arrived soon after, allowing me to return to what I loved most ~ meditation, yoga, and inner exploration, mostly in solitude.
Over the Next Ten Years…
I continued the spiritual quest, traveling through India often and learning many a fascinating thing. At thirty-eight, when the Gulf War broke out, I became seriously ill ~ a spider bite, parasites from India, poor diet, and too much purification fire moving through me simultaneously. After a year of trying every possible remedy, I had dropped to 83 pounds with death knocking at the door. Then I met two experts in the Raw Food hygienic lifestyle and healed within weeks, becoming healthier than I had ever been. I have been grateful for this natural way of eating ever since.
At forty-one I began doing bodywork professionally ~ a natural outgrowth of years of mystic inclination. I eventually gathered credentials: Reiki Master Practitioner, Healing Touch International Levels 1 and 2, credits in Syntropy International, along with previous study in Shiatsu, Feldenkrais, Swedish massage, and Barbara Brennan’s work on the Human Energy Field.
These courses helped me understand what was already happening spontaneously. But the truth is my healing work had not really changed as a result of outer study. The best things in life are simple. It is more a matter of stepping out of the way.
My Kundalini Goes Wild…
For a full nine years ~ 1983 to 1992 ~ I endured the most intense and remarkable primal energies. I became a case study for Dr. Lee Sannella’s book “The Kundalini Experience: Psychosis or Transcendence.” The phenomenon included wild orgasmic shaking ~ cosmic visions, hand and body gestures, speaking in Sanskrit tongues, dances with unseen forces, and other expressions of the paranormal.
Eventually the wild ecstasy and dark night of the soul subsided, leaving quieter gifts of insight and healing. I feel both relief and gratitude ~ the fires are calmer now, continuing in a more subtle, controlled fashion.
Kundalini fire is sometimes understood as transmuted sexual energy rising upward through the body rather than downward in the usual biological direction. This may be precisely why true tantra is territory I know from the inside.
Sexual Energy versus Spiritual Energy…
For much of my life I have been strangely celibate ~ not always by choice. Sex can be profoundly sacred, but we often collapse into the simple biology of it and lose its more powerful cosmic quality. My body seems to have always known this and held to the higher road. As a result I tend to share in energies rather than outcomes ~ focused on full body alignment rather than destination.
Though sexual energy and spiritual energy may differ in quality, they share a common root. Physical, emotional and mental health form the ground from which spiritual health grows. And what if primal energy ~ truly aligned with Source ~ is the most powerful creative force in existence? Then tremendous purity and right timing would be required to work with it wisely.
One thing I return to again and again in my visions is the Garden of Eden ~ before the forgetting. Many mysteries live there. And sometimes, when all is safe, mysteries are unveiled.
The Lotuslamp
When upon your heart sun rays gleam
Through clouds of gloom and doubt,
Petals unfold ~
The Lotus blooms
The Lamp within shines throughout.
Lotuslamp is my Tibetan name,
given long ago by Tantric Daka Kalu Rinpoche in San Francisco ~
at the Kalachakra Initiation. I am not a Buddhist,
nor adherent to any one religion. The lamp belongs to everyone.